I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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