why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
