How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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