I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
