I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there's paper in my vomit.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
