Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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