Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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