There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize