its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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