im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
