I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
