Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
