Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
