I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
