His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
