In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
