Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize