he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
