I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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