It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
