it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize