Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
