I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
