Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
