Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
