Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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