david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize