I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
