upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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