can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
