Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
