I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
