But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
