So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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