The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Small penises have feelings too.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
