Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
