Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
