Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
