is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
