Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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