Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
