After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
