So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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