:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
