I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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