i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
