Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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