i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish I only lived at night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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