I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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