Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
