I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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