I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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