it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
