i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
