I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
