If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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