How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need water and some morals
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
