glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
