miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
