Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
