If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
